You break me down

Why do you do this to me? Why do you tell me I am beautiful, kind, a good friend, a role model, a wonderful human being? Only the next minute you turn around and tell me I am worthless, ugly and useless. You tell me that I don’t deserve happiness and I need to be punished. My mind gets fucked up! I don’t know what to believe. You manipulate me in ways I never thought possible.

You’re like a prison guard holding me locked up until I find the courage to do what’s necessary to get out and leave you behind. As for now I’m evidently to weak. You’ve been a part of my life for so long now, I don’t know how to live without you. Some days you’re quite nice to me and let me unwind for a bit. I like those days, they make me think life is pretty good.

Then you get upset over something and take it out on me. Why do you do that? Just when I manage to catch my breath and start to gather all my pieces together you knock me down all over again. And I’m scattered.

You scare me when you act like this. I’m afraid for my own safety, but I guess it’s better you take your frustration out on me than anyone else. It’s like you are feeding on my misery. The more I suffer the more power you get over me. You break me down, taunt me, then you walk away…

… but don’t leave me, you’re all I’ve got!

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