If you were told you deserve nothing, would you smile? If you were told you take up too much space, would you smile? If you were told you only waste people’s time, would you smile? If you settled for something that’s hurting you because that’s all you think you’re worthy of, would you be smiling? I doubt it…
I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve been told to smile more. I might have a resting bitch face from the get go, but if you were inside my head you probably wouldn’t smile either. Unfortunately I bring my thoughts with me wherever I go. This means I only smile when they allow me to. When they allow me to rest. Whether it’d be at work, school, with friends or a date. I can’t fake a smile, I just can’t! No matter how hard I try I am transparent, what you see is what you get.
I tried my best to smile a few times when my depression were at its all time low. Because I thought people were tired of seeing me walking around with my dead face. It turned out to be a pitiful, sad attempt of a smile. I was told my lips smiled but my eyes weren’t. So that’s that… I can’t seem to fake anything. ・
So.. before you tell me to “put a smile on that face” you spend an hour inside my head and then you try it!! Being at constant war with yourself makes it quite difficult. I’m not always allowed to smile, you see.